My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:03PM
I was saving towards a 3d printer when my wife passed away suddenly on Thursday at 4:38pm Central US time.

She was so fascinated by 3d printers and we would look at my designs, as well as others, and she would ask if ponoko, or shapeways could print it then she would see the different material types and just go gaga over them. She was also the one who gave me some ideas for the models I made, but I am so very sad, angry, etc... (name an emotion and I am having it right now) besides in tears most of the time. I am so sad that she never got the chance to see me with one printing out something for her (my first project was going to be a plastic replacement piece for her GE washing machine that the knob connects to because it has been broken since we had an apartment fire Oct 28, 2006).

She turned 51 on Jan 21, 2013 and was dead Feb 7, 2013 from so many issues I am not sure what the death certificate will say was the cause but boy did that woman keep all of her issues to her self and they were not obvious until the last 2 weeks where we thought it was Asthma or just allergies.

I am posting this here to her memory as I can never forget her and trust me I am sparing you the ugly images I have of her in her last hour of life as that is my nightmare to carry for the rest of my life knowing she did not know her family was there with her due to being brain dead and on life support. I will tell you she was a strong woman, and a very good woman too, that fought trying to stay alive in that last hour (even the head nurse said she was fighter).

We found out, the day of her death, that she was diabetic (396 sugar level the day before, and 408 the day of, her death from some test they gave her that can look back in her past for sugar levels). She had 2 heart attacks (one about a week ago and the second one the day she passed away) had a blood clot that moved to her heart that caused her heart to die slowly, but she never showed any signs of any of this and really only showed signs of shortness of breath like Asthma would cause. I found out that women can have a heart attack and never know it and it is a silent killer of women.

She had 195/140 BP when we made it to the hospital and 180-230 bpm at a resting calm state. So, they had to give her all sorts of blood thinners to get those numbers down but they would not budge. They had to EMS her to another hospital and that is the last time I saw my wife awake and speaking. Once they got her to the other hospital they filled her with stents in her arteries and even a balloon because her vessels (they said probably due to the diabetes) were 80% clogged.

She then started to show better signs and they waited to see if her heart was able to function on its own because it was at 10% capacity when it should have been 60%. They gave her heart a sonogram and saw the blood clot but because of the blood thinners they HAD to give to her it dislodged and went directly to the brain steam where she was instantly brain dead. At this moment they let us watch as they tore into her trying to get some response but there was none (these are part of the graphic images that no Hollywood horror story could match).

At that moment they ushered us out and she passed away but all of the doctors and nurses were giving her strong heart drugs and CPR and all sorts of other things (including a pace maker) to try and start the heart but she was gone. The doctor said that even if they had saved her she would not be the woman we knew (basically a vegetable) and she would not have wanted that at all.

I will get the 3d printer as fast as I can now as a way to say 'look honey I finally got one and check it out', but I am moving away from here because of the memories we had though only for a little over 5 years.

Let this be a lesson to all of us to cherish every moment with someone you love because they can be taken away in less time than it takes for a heartbeat to happen.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:04PM
I wanted to add that we were married on Oct 31, 1998.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:15PM
sorry to hear that news, best regards.


[mike-mack.blogspot.com]
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:31PM
It happened to me some years ago, I know the place you are in and I still do not have the words to help.
you are among friends, just take one day at a time.


Random Precision
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:37PM
I've only ever browsed the forums and not posted, but this will be my exception.
Really sorry to hear, hope you get all the help you need.
Rest in Peace
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:44PM
my heartfelt sympathies sad smiley
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:48PM
I thank you guys and I am very lucky that my mother, sister, nephew and step dad came immediately upon hearing of her death (they live 250 miles away). Without their support I don't know what I would be doing. I do know they will come next weekend as well and the weekend after that they will come to help me move out. They really did so much work here this weekend but so much is left to do and everything I see of my wife, and just typing this, makes me start to tear up.

I never once thought this would happen and I ask why such a wonderful person as my wife was why she had to go when this old bastard here was left alive. I really mean this when I say I would have gladly been the one to go if I would have known she would have been alright.

It really sucks and isn't fair at all and makes me question everything.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
VDX
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 03:57PM
... oh boy -- you have my deepest sympathy ...


Viktor
--------
Aufruf zum Projekt "Müll-freie Meere" - [reprap.org] -- Deutsche Facebook-Gruppe - [www.facebook.com]

Call for the project "garbage-free seas" - [reprap.org]
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 04:08PM
Thank you for such a kind reminder and finding many many positive ways to reflect on such a tragic, unfortunate event. I can not begin to even think I can appreciate what your loss is like, I only wish you the best and encourage you to keep enjoying life as much as possible after mourning.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 04:31PM
DA,

My condolences on your wife's passing. I'm genuinely sorry to hear that, and want you to know that you are in my thoughts.

Perhaps if it would help, post some images of her here, when she was healthy and vibrant.

Regards,
aeronaut
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 04:38PM
So sorry to about your loss DA. I wish you all the best, hang in there man.

-Dave
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 05:33PM
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Regards
Keith
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 05:34PM
My deepest sympathy.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 09:55PM
Deepest sympathies from all the Reprappers in New Zealand


__________________________________________________________________________
Experimenting in 3D in New Zealand
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 10:04PM
Thank you everyone.

She was a quiet reserved person and she was like me where we didn't like our picture taken. Fact is I am having a hard time finding one of her recently (she deleted them) but I had a copy stashed but it was from the Blackberry which sucked for taking pictures. I still have the picture she sent to me when we were engaged (it survived the fire in 06).

I am trying to remove her image in the CCU from my mind and I am making some leeway because it was so horrific I think my mind is shutting it out.

We met when I was working for IBM's tech call center and she worked for Caldor's help department. She was one of the ones who would call in to talk to one of us for a printer issue. I flew up to CT from TN and we met in person and was married a few months later. She had one son (now 24 who is as heart stricken as I am) from a previous marriage (he cheated on her and is still with the woman he cheated on her with) and this was my first marriage. She probably stayed with me, even though I can be a bastard, because I promised her I would never ever cheat and I never did as it is not within me to do that to a woman. I mean if you feel the need to cheat then get a divorce and move on.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 10, 2013 11:23PM
Sorry to hear about your loss, DA. I can only imagine what it must be like and I'm glad to hear that you have family with you now. Take care and let us know if we can help in any way, even if its just to talk.

Regards,
CJA
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 02:52AM
DA, really sad to hear about your loss. Stay strong and build the printer for her.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 03:30AM
My heartfelt condolences!


Bob Morrison
Wörth am Rhein, Germany
"Luke, use the source!"
BLOG - PHOTOS - Thingiverse
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 04:07AM
I've been sitting here for a while trying to figure out what to say and I still can't. I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 06:01AM
Well this is sad, and scary news.

My wife is living a couple of hours away from me because she is going to school, and we only see each other every couple of weeks or so. We're both in our fifties and she is the only wife I've ever had, but we've been together for 12 years. She's like yours was, head over heals with these machines and loves to see it print things, although she's an artist, not a techy and we see it from different angles.

She's been having pains under her left armpit that extends forward that comes and goes now for a few months. She's is so stubborn though, and anti-western medicine (thinks that she can fix every thing with herbs), that I can't get her to go to a doctor and have an examination. I've been worrying for a while now that by the time she does, it will be too late and I'll lose her suddenly. It feels aweful to be so helpless. I can't imagine what it has been like for you, and still is, and will be for so much longer, to have experienced for real that which I'm only fearing.

My heart goes out to you man.
Let it out, all of it, mourning helps healing.

Jon

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2013 06:03AM by Tekwizard.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 06:57AM
Very sorry to hear your sad news, deepest sympathies.

Do stay with us here on the forum and in time, build your printer, it will give you a focus.

Rich.


[richrap.blogspot.com]
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 08:39AM
Dear DA,

It is with great sadness I read your post.
Please accept my sincere condolences.

Jan
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 09:47AM
Tekwizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well this is sad, and scary news.
>
> My wife is living a couple of hours away from me
> because she is going to school, and we only see
> each other every couple of weeks or so. We're both
> in our fifties and she is the only wife I've ever
> had, but we've been together for 12 years. She's
> like yours was, head over heals with these
> machines and loves to see it print things,
> although she's an artist, not a techy and we see
> it from different angles.
>
> She's been having pains under her left armpit that
> extends forward that comes and goes now for a few
> months. She's is so stubborn though, and
> anti-western medicine (thinks that she can fix
> every thing with herbs), that I can't get her to
> go to a doctor and have an examination. I've been
> worrying for a while now that by the time she
> does, it will be too late and I'll lose her
> suddenly. It feels aweful to be so helpless. I
> can't imagine what it has been like for you, and
> still is, and will be for so much longer, to have
> experienced for real that which I'm only fearing.
>
> My heart goes out to you man.
> Let it out, all of it, mourning helps healing.
>
> Jon
My wife always saw the beauty in what was being printed while I looked at it like a tech would in how thick the walls are or how long it took to print etc... So, she saw it differently too. I saw the beauty in objects too but she was focused on that aspect while I wasn't.

YES, my wife was so much into herbs and teas for aches and pains or coughs while I know they can benefit I am not that much into them just a couple.

I was helpless too because I could not make her go to the hospital. We have no insurance and are working class poor so she would not go due to that no matter how much I tried in those last 2 weeks so she was self diagnosing and treating with herbs and teas and OTC stuff because she felt it was Asthma. Well, now we know it wasn't.

Due to patient rights of 2010 you can't force a person to go to the doctor or hospital and if your wife, or mine, didn't/doesn't want to go you can't make them. Even if you hit them over the head and stuck them in a gunny sack and dragged them to the doctor or hospital once asked, and they were to say no, they must immediately let them go and not treat, or stop treating, them. I was in a hell of a position because I knew she needed a doctor but I was unable to force her to go.

So, do know that you can't really do anything about your wife, like I couldn't, but it still hurts I know.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2013 09:52AM by Dark Alchemist.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 11:57AM
DA, I read your story, I understand your feelings, and I wonder what I would do if I had to go thru the same situation.

All I can say: live for her, don't give up desperation.

A warm embrace from Italy,
Davide


==============================
no toys here...sorry
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 12:09PM
DA,

man, I'm sorry to hear this news. I know this must be a difficult period for you. Just don't dwell on the "obvious" signs of her decline in health - hindsight will torture you.

Just try to remember the good times you had, how she made your life better, and how she made you a better person.

You have my deepest sympathies,

Matt
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 02:09PM
RepRap Squad members will all say a prayer for you as well as the effected friends and family. Life is precious and too many take it for granted. It reminds me of all the loved ones I have lost. She obviously will be missed and was loved deeply. We are very sorry for your loss and her memories will live on through you. The only advise I can give you is to take it one day at a time and be with those closest to you.


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Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 03:24PM
Thank you everyone as she was loved very much by all of us even if she didn't realize it when she was alive she always was.


_______
I await Skynet and my last vision will be of a RepRap self replicating the robots that is destroying the human race.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 03:33PM
my deepest sympathy and keep strong!

With kind regards,

Michael
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 04:36PM
I am truly sorry for your loss. I know how horrible it can be losing a close family member. My sincerest condolences.
Re: My wife just passed away.
February 11, 2013 05:52PM
Dark Alchemist Wrote:

> > Jon
> My wife always saw the beauty in what was being
> printed while I looked at it like a tech would in
> how thick the walls are or how long it took to
> print etc... So, she saw it differently too. I
> saw the beauty in objects too but she was focused
> on that aspect while I wasn't.
>
> YES, my wife was so much into herbs and teas for
> aches and pains or coughs while I know they can
> benefit I am not that much into them just a
> couple.
>
> I was helpless too because I could not make her go
> to the hospital. We have no insurance and are
> working class poor so she would not go due to that
> no matter how much I tried in those last 2 weeks
> so she was self diagnosing and treating with herbs
> and teas and OTC stuff because she felt it was
> Asthma. Well, now we know it wasn't.
>
> Due to patient rights of 2010 you can't force a
> person to go to the doctor or hospital and if your
> wife, or mine, didn't/doesn't want to go you can't
> make them. Even if you hit them over the head and
> stuck them in a gunny sack and dragged them to the
> doctor or hospital once asked, and they were to
> say no, they must immediately let them go and not
> treat, or stop treating, them. I was in a hell of
> a position because I knew she needed a doctor but
> I was unable to force her to go.
>
> So, do know that you can't really do anything
> about your wife, like I couldn't, but it still
> hurts I know.

I'm in Canada and western medicine is covered by medicare. A visit to her doctor costs her nothing. Xrays, blood tests, CTscans...none of that would cost her anything. Any vital medicine she'd need or hospital visits would cost her nothing. She's not afraid to go and has gone many times in the past for other things. She has friends at school who are students of Homeopathy and they, still being students, tell her that everything bad is caused by western medicine, poor diet and junk food and that doctors are pill pushers because they get extra for any prescription they make. They may have a point, and I'm all for eating healthy and being responsible for ones health - I have the same attitude and I look after my own wellbeing. However, western medicine has some virtues, and they can tell you if you have a broken arm by taking xrays of it and exactly what the break looks at, or screen your blood and get a picture of what exactly is going on in your body. I want her to take the free tests and find out what is wrong. How she chooses to treat herself after she knows is up to her. But right now she's just guessing, and that was in your case disastrous...

I'm going to pass on to her, your story, and perhaps it will nudge her into action. If it does, and something serious, but treatable is wrong with her, then you posting your story will have perhaps saved somebody else.

Jon
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