You can use PTFE, but it has to be very well constrained and cannot be used as a load-bearing component. As you have seen, it will get soft when heated and doesn't hold its shape on its own.
If you look at an MK4 extruder on a makerbot, you'll see that they use a washer and nut on the barrel. They then use two bolts to hold the washer. All of this is done to support the barrel when trying to push filament through it. The nut bears the load rather than the PTFE threads, which will strip out when the barrel is heated.
Also, you have to clamp around the PTFE with hose clamps, copper tube, or some similar support structure. The idea behind doing this is that it stops the PTFE from bulging outwards and creating leaks. If it expands radially, plastic will start seeping in between the threads and you'll soon have a giant plug of plastic on top of your heater.
Hybrid insulators (PEEK outer layer and threaded section with a PTFE sealing insert at the core) are another popular way of supporting the hot end.